I know a honeybee...

I know a honeybee
She is a life giver

I know a honeybee
She is a love giver

I know a honeybee
Pollinating with her love
Pollinating with her words
Pollinating with her art

I love to see that honeybee surrounded by beauty
That’s where she belongs

Honeybees are meant to spread life
Meant to grow beauty
Meant to spread love

I know a honeybee and she is building a home
And she is filling it with her honey-sweet love.

The End...

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I notice...

I notice, I just haven’t said.

I notice every freckle on your porcelain skin.
I notice how your neck curves just so…
I notice how one calf flexes differently than the other
I notice how your hand shakes when you forget to eat

So many notices…
Your forehead when you concentrate
The way you never finish your tea or coffee
How animated you get
How you talk in your sleep

I notice a little too much champagne…

How your amazing eyes get even brighter when you talk about your art

How you hear things I don’t
How I hear things you don’t

The way you stand on your toes all the time
The way you hold your mouth when you put make-up on

I notice the way you stand when you stare into your closet

I notice how you hold your pen differently when you sign your name

I notice…I do…and I have…and I will

The way your eyes water when you are about to cry…but they never turn red…

I notice the weight of you in the bed next to me
I notice the curve of you under the covers

You read in bed sitting upright
You look at every page of a magazine
How you get immersed in what you do
You war against the lies in your head

I notice – you need and want beauty all around you
I notice…you are beauty

I notice when you are mad and I want to run, I know you are begging for me

I notice how my withholding from you has left you confused and hurt

I notice how my unwillingness to give you my heart built a wall around yours

I notice how you respond when I show up

I notice you in a crowd
how we share thoughts without speaking
when you are standing behind me (I feel safe)
the sounds you make when I rub your feet
your earrings, the way you wear your jewelry
how you adjust your wedding ring with your other fingers
how you sit when you wear a dress
how you use your laptop in bed
how you fold the covers when you get in bed

I notice I just haven’t said
And now I notice that that makes me sad…

I WOKE UP AND I WAS 40



There is a high cheek boned beauty who has been a part of my life for longer than I have ever known.

When I sailed I could feel her kiss my face on the breeze

Feel her in the ocean swells

See her in the sunsets

All of it bringing me to her, healing me.



I can hear the wishes and and fears and dreams of all those around me

Pressing in and surrounded by the noise of other peoples lives

To not live my own



Seeking the quiet and stillness

Away from the cacophony of my mind

Still-dark-quiet, hiding and haunted

Screaming silently, surrounded and alone

Dying to have love, but living to have none



A life stolen in a thousand little cold crimes

A thousand little acts of blind ignorance



Denial



Hiding-haunted-buried in the black snow

Walking/stumbling through the winter of my life



Numb- cold- dead



I don’t know when I went to sleep

3, 4, 5 ?

I woke up and I was 40.



Feeling for the first time

Knowing for the first time

Believing for the first time

In life

Life peeled back and raw

Lived close to the bone

With others



In my sleepless nights I heard her, voice soothing

In my childhood I felt her, hair smoothing

A God-given pillow for my spinning head

I searched for her in my toy box, dark and small

Seeking her in the woods and streams and rivers of my youth

I tried to take her from others, who did not have her to give

Always looking, in the pages of magazines and in the frames of movies

Never satisfied



When I woke up I was 40

And I was married to her.